This morning’s devotional led me to the story of the prodigal son. To be honest, I’ve never related to this story. I was as far from a prodigal as one could be (as my Cuban brethren would say, “yo era nina de casa”).
Today I realize how much I relate to the older son who was angered by his father’s embrace of the prodigal.
I’ve been so focused not only on what God hasn’t given me, but also what he’s given others. It’s hard for me to admit, but it’s true. “God, why have you blessed them so abundantly and allowed them to be so flippant about their blessings?” “God, why would you make such bold and clear promises and leave me with empty arms? Why do those with full arms continue to be blessed while I have nothing?” These questions have been haunting me in my time alone with God for days.
Isn’t that the same thing that the other son was basically saying to his father? (“But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’” Luke 15:29-30 NIV)
What stopped me cold in my tracks today was the father’s response: “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” Luke 15:31 NIV.
Two things that stuck with me: (1) the blessing of the older’s son continued proximity of the presence of his father; and (2) “Everything that I have is yours”.
Sometimes, I forget or take for granted the blessing of just being in the presence of the father. I truly believe that the reason God gave us the Old Testament is not for Levitical law, but rather to appreciate the fact that God’s presence was only available to certain people in certain positions (remember the tent that the Israelites would carry around in the wilderness?). Or how about Jacob’s tithe in the Bible being given in exchange for God’s blessing?
Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s household, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth.”
(Gen. 28: 20-22).
I may not be where I hoped or expected to be, but through it all, I’ve been covered by the presence of God. God gently reminded me today as he did the older son in the story “you are always with me.” God’s presence is everything. If God does nothing else for me as long as I live, the blessing of his presence is enough.
“Everything that I have is yours”. This is what wrecked me today. In all of my “why God, why NOT me?” God reminded me today, that he has his best reserved for me. “Everything” also includes the hard things. The things I can understand or reconcile; and the things that grow and refine me. There is purpose in this pain.
If he removed something, it’s because I wasn’t supposed to have it. “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack NOTHING.” I am complete in this moment. If he blesses me later, so be it it.
But for now, I will rest assured in his presence and that his best is reserved for me.
The Lady Esquire 